Wonder and Loss: A Practical Memoir for Writing About Grief – A Review

I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I started to read Wonder and Loss. Memoirs, and specifically those talking about grief, aren’t something I would normally reach for, but I’m always interested to read and hear about different takes on writing advice.

The opening chapter is raw and deeply personal. Something for anyone going through their own grieving process to be aware of. I imagine this – and much of what follows – could be triggering for some. Although Meekings does address this at various points, suggesting readers who are affected take a break.

Each chapter follows the same structure: a personal essay discussing an aspect of Meekings’ own grief followed by a short reflection on what he has written, and suggestions for further reading, tips and a writing exercise. Whilst I enjoyed the fact that this book is structured thus, it felt wrong somehow to break down a persons’ grief into rules and tips for how to write it. I understand that even memoirs that talk about grief can be assisted with excellent writing advice on structure and pace and so on, but the hugely personal essays at the start of each chapter being broken down left me feeling uncomfortable.

There was some excellent writing advice dotted throughout this book and I have made note of much of it. (I am a fiction writer, but there was lots that applied.) There is a mixture of general writing advice and some more specific to writing a memoir about grief. I wasn’t a fan of how Meekings’ gave writers rules to follow and absolutes. The act of writing is a deeply personal one, and believe everyone should find there own way. I would have much preferred these being proffered as suggestions, or tips that worked for Meekings’ himself.

I also found some of the vocabulary used unnecessarily literary and, dare I say it, lofty. It took away from the personal connection that Meekings made with me as the reader. It felt as though he were trying to show how clever he was.

My favourite thing about Wonder and Loss is that it made me think about writing from different perspectives. I took away notes about how to write chapters of my own book with a body-central perspective, from an environmental focus, comparing the then and now. There is one particular chapter of my own work in progress that I know is better for having applied the advice Meekings offered.

All in all, I am glad to have read this book and to be able to take advantage of some of the content.